Again, I am swept away by all the support and love that I receive. I am so blessed. Our mission has this thing we do.... absolutely every spoken companion prayer and also every personal prayer, we pray for every single person we are teaching. All the investigators, all the Less-Active, and of course, all the Recent-Converts. It helps us remember them, and always remain focused on them. For months and months of my mission, I obeyed, but was annoyed with "having" to pray for something. I didn't like that it was "required." Sister Carter has helped me with this one without even realizing it. While I was her companion, something switched in my mind.
I don't have to do any of this.
I pray for them because I love them.
I no longer do it just to "be obedient."
This didn't happen over-night. I only noticed it this week, that I really do love to pray for them. I realize that I pray in faith for them. The pride has slipped away, and I am humbled because I can't believe I was so selfish to pray for them only to be obedient.
That isn't what obedience is about. Obedience is about faith. Faith is more than words, more than lip-service, more than just Sunday.
Faith is obeying because you want to; you want to because you love Heavenly Father, and you love praying for them.
The reason that I mention this is because I know that you are all praying for me. I can feel it. I need those prayers. I'm doing great, but don't stop praying for me, and all the missionaries that you know.
I am swept away because I love all these people. They are the friends that I had never met yet, but looking back, I see the extraordinary group of support that I have even now. I love you all and I know that you love me and every single week...
I am swept away because I realize that even though this mission isn't about me, I am the one ministering to others and it is about them, even with knowing that, I realize that there are so many of you that ministered to me, and continue to minister to me.
And I want to apologize because at that time it was all about me. And I don't want it to be anymore. It's not about me. It's not about you loving me.
It's about me loving you.
So if I don't respond right away, please don't think it's all about me still. In reality, it is about you. I have this fear of responding wrong, because you all deserve so much more than that, but I am physically not able to respond to everyone the way my heart wants me to.
But that being said, I just wanted to let you all know that I am swept away by your love. I am full of gratitude. I don't ever want to be off my mission, but when I do, I don't want it to be about me. Remember that. I want it to be about my family and friends. I just want to love and serve you all the way I never did. I know how to now. So when I get home, please ask for my help. Please call me, I will always get back to you. Please tell me what you are going through. I want to be there. Please ask me to do things for you that you cannot do for yourself.
Grandparents and parents especially.... You have done so much for me. I could list names, but I could go on forever. My friends and family,
YOU ARE THE REASON THAT I MADE IT HERE.
Every time I talk to someone, you are there because you made it possible, and you continue to do so, sending light and life into my life. I love you all.
So this week. We did a lot of service, talked to lots of people, taught a few less actives that we haven't been able to get in touch with all 3 months I have been here. We also had a lot of lessons fall through, and we also talked to a lot of people. We found out Friday night that Sister Carter is going to leave, and go be companions with my baby (Sister Murphy, who I trained in Santa Rosa.)
Coming in to be with me is Sister Andreason, and she served in Rio Vista a few months before me. So cool
I also am proud to announce that Hermana Bryant, who I love dearly, is training in Petaluma, and then after this transfer she is "dying" or going home. She did so much for me. Loved me so much, taught me so much, helped me see the good in myself. She wrote me last week, and it brought me to tears.
You never know how much of an impact compliments, honest compliments about character, not just style, make.
Well.
Also I have been made an STL. I will still be in Elder Gadd's district. That means I have served around him for my whole mission, except for 6 weeks. Sister Afoa from New Zealand will still be here, and so will Elder Britt. Elder Hurd is still Zone Leader, and the other new Zone Leader served in my same zone when I was in Rio Vista, so this is going to be lots of fun.
But I am STL. And scared out of my mind. I know the Lord has a sense of humor. I was just getting accustomed to the idea of leading out the area again. I had worked up my courage to that. Oh well. I am determined to do my best though.
This coming week is going to be crazy. We leave for Santa Rosa tomorrow, and with transfers, and then MLC we won't be back to work until Thursday.
Also, Lynn is still coming to church and doing well. She is having health problems, so it is harder to meet with her, but she is still doing good. We're hoping to set a baptismal date with her this week. Pray for Eli too... he quit his new job, but possibly will be moving back to Woodland for another one he was offered today. Pray also for us to be able to find the Elect, or for them to find us. Either way works for me. :)
Also, my favorite talk was defintiely Elder Uchtdorf's. My mind was so blown the whole time I didn't get a chance to take any notes. Wow. I felt like my mind was opened, and I just felt light. Wow. Go listen to it if you haven't already.
What else?
oh. yeah.
I KNOW the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is true. I know that Jesus Christ loves us, and that we can become like Him, and I know that Heavenly Father loves us. We are his children. I love feeling like a little child. I love that feeling of knowing that that is how He feels towards me.
Every night I look up at the stars as we walk up the stairs to the apartment. They are so beautiful. Heavenly Father does so many things for us. Sometime we need to just look up. Every night, my breath is taken away. So beautiful. And if you don't know what the Spirit feels like, just find a little quiet place and pause and look up at the stars.
I love you all!
Love, Sister Darby Miller
