4/20/15 Short and Sweet! Let's Change a Tire!

So sorry that this is short and sweet... So in short.... The work has been pretty rough. I love it though. It is amazing how much your outlook can change your happiness. All those times I thought it was so hard....I should have looked for the miracles. So that's what I am learning boot do here. I've never prayed harder, and I've never had a transfer fly by so fast. We find out transfers and what happens this Friday. I think I'll stay, but anything can happen.

Well, the miracle u want to share ( although we saw so many more, that I couldn't write all of them if I tried) is this:

On a given night, all of our appointments fell through and we stopped at a gas station to fuel up first. There was this family trying to put a tire on, and so we asked them if they needed help. They said you
see, and it surprised us, but sister comer spent the next hour helping the uncle and he dad (farm girls! Ha! They rock!) and I taught the mom and the kids, and showed them Because He Lives. They left, and we taught he uncle. He cried, and told us how ,ugh it meant to him. No one had stopped to help for 2 hours, even though it was a busy street. we taught him about he Book of Mormon and invited him to read and pray to know, and we got his phone number to give to the Spanish Speaking missionaries. It was really cool, and was a tender mercy to my heart because it had been a rough day. All day we had had to defend the family, and why having kids is not a sin, but a party of God'a plan.
At the end of our conversation with Justin, the man, he told us something that made me cry. He said that for the rest of his life, not matter what we may be going throughout or how alone we may feel, we should remember that there was at least one person out there praying for us everyday our lives, until the day he dies. He really meant it took and it touched my heart.

I have learned a lot about prayer and about gratitude this week. All in all it has been a good week. :)

Weekly challenge: pray every morning before you leave the house or start your day. Also, pray before you go to sleep or get into bed every night. If you so please, you can share your miracles that
happened with me :)

4/13/15

So Davis is pretty cool. It's starting to sink in a little better. Church yesterday was good. I feel like I'm just starting to get to know the members, and that is always that has meant so much to me on my mission. I've learned a lot about reaching out. I think with missing church a week, I felt a little out of he loop with the Lord, but as I sat during the sacrament, I felt a change in my heart. I realized that I needed to be  the one to initiate the friendships. It was awesome. I have had some pretty cool experiences this past week with something called Power Hour. After having dinner with a member family, we share a mini lesson or spiritual thought with them that we hand picked as something we think they would need. Then, we ask them if they know anyone we can reach out to, and then we ask them to pray for us in the next hour that we will see miracles, wether we are finding or if we are teaching a lesson. So last Monday we ate with this young couple named.... (Get this....) the Allred's. Pretty funny. They were awesome. Before we came and ate, they asked us to bring picture of our family, and come prepared to share stories. I took all my pictures off my wall by my bed, and put them into a little photo album. It was so fun just to talk about all my memories and things, and to hear everyone else's stories too. It never fails to amaze me how much someone's family has to do with the person they become.

Well, for that power hour, we were walking in downtown Davis and we contacted  this Less-Active from the Woodland 2nd Ward... I never knew her when I was there, but she was so open and receptive. We shared the Because He Lives video with her and her fiancé, who is at a member. It was beautiful, the feeling that was there. She feared up, and he was open. He agreed to read the Book of Mormon.  It was really cool to see her heart softened.

So something really cool happened.
Another miracle we saw this week was that we saw Tony. He's a student from China who came here to study. He has a belief in God, but it is very different from the norm. We have been trying to catch him at home for a long time. This weekend we caught him at home. He had read through the introduction and he understood it, and although he didn't outright believe it, he was open to it. It was a really cool doorstep lesson. We taught him the restoration and showed him the short restoration video on the interactive pamphlet. The spirit was so strong. I was so happy. He told us that he didn't believe that anyone could see God, but as we explained how he could pray and ask God for himself, he said he would. When we explained that we would have to pass him offline the singles ward, he was actually excited, which was a relief. Usually it doesn't go that way, but he was excited about it. Before we turned to leave, the thought hit me that we hadn't asked him to be baptized, and that we should. I felt the spirit helping me ask him. He without hesitation that he would be baptized, if he knew it was true.

I'm sitting here at the parking lot in a little town called Winters, typing out this email on the bleachers, in the shade. There are young women from the Winters ward playing the ukulele. There is a perfect temperature in the breeze, and the chatter of missionaries talking and carefree, while some are out one field playing baseball. This moment is just so precious, yet a mission life is filled up with special tender mercies like this all the time. There will always be struggles, but it's always about how you look at it. There are so many moments in life that make it so worth it.

As I had an interview with President Alba and Sister Alba this past week. We talked about what I have learned. On my mission, I have learned that Heavenly Father's plan is perfect, that He is always there for me, and that Jesus Christ really knows me. I know that the gospel has been restored. I know that He always has a plan. I told her that I have learned to be obedient, and to trust in Him. We talked a little about the future, and I realized that although I don't know exactly what will happen, I know that I trust in Heavenly Father's plan.

I know that God lives and hay He loves us. I know that we will one day see our Savior Jesus Christ, and that if we endure the end, we can live with Him again. I know that He hears and answers our prayers.

I know He loves us.

I know that our lives are important, and I know that there are forces of God that we can't see, working for us, working with us.
Do not take the commandments lightly. There is no more important time than this time. Would you rather receive a prophecy, or fulfill a prophecy? Well, we live in a time where prophecy is being fulfilled. We need to wake up, and shake off the chains which bind us. Anything that comes from the Prophet, Thomas S Monson, or from one of the Twelve is a commandment of God. It is not enough to just avoid grievous sins. Let me be very clear. When we do not do something we know is right, we are choosing to sin.
And for those of you who have made sacred covenants with our Heavenly Father, by being baptized and also further covenanting in the temple of the Lord, you have promised to be obedient. So when you don't keep the commandments, do not tell me you are choosing to disobey, tell me you are a covenant-breaker.

It is simple. Follow Jesus Christ IN ALL THINGS.
If you do, Heavenly Father will bless you with those blessings He reserves for covenant keepers.

With all my love,
Sincerely,
Sister Darby Eleyce Miller

4/6/15 The Things I Have Learned From My Mission

Dear Family and Friends,

Our area is a little harder than I thought. Last friday I had the opportunity to go to MLC, which is a meeting where President Alba, Sister Alba and the AP's (assistants to the president, for those of you who don't know mission lingo) all teach and present training for us to take back to our zones. The past few months, starting in January with Camp Liahona, we have had extra meetings with transfers, Elder Nelson (who spoke this past conference about his sister coming back to the church... He is an awesome man, and is a really really good teacher) came to talk about missionary work to us, and then came again to present training on the new ipads versus the way we used to use ipads for missionary work. We also have had meetings on many other important topics, such as the goal we have as a mission to talk to 20 new contacts a day, teach 3 lessons to people a day, and also to invite someone to be baptized each day. It was really neat when I was with Sister Whimpey, because we were co-STL's and so we went to all the meetings together and we both believed it and wanted it so bad. I learned so much from her example. I learned a lot about myself too. Some of the things I learned will stay with me forever. Anyway, I am rambling, but the point is, it has been really different not having that the past couple weeks. I have felt myself kind of plateauma little, and so General Conference and MLC really gave me a kick-start again.

At MLC, they did something different. The President didn't assign topics, but rather, he wanted it done like General Conference. He asked them to pray about it and study, and really ponder on what they should present. The Topics and the things that I learned were as follows:

What is it to REFLECT? To look back, to instrospect, to ponder your life and your situation with God? What vividly came to my mind as they challenged us to reflect was this: a mirror in a dark room, and a person sitting in front of it with a candle. When we reflect, we see ourselves AS WE REALLY ARE.... all the beauties and the flaws. No one is perfect, but there is also a beauty in every person that comes here to this earth. Now, I am not just speaking about phsyical beauty. Spiritual beauty is in all of us, because we are children of God. Now, whether or not that natural beauty stays with us is our choice, just like it is our choice by how we take care of our bodies. But unlike our phsyical bodies, which age and die, our spiritual beauty has no limitations. We can always be more like our Heavenly Father. We can always be more spiritually beautiful.
I also learned that the candle, the light by which we can truly see ourselves is the true Light: Jesus Christ. All who come to this earth are given the Light of Christ, and all those that are baptized and confirmed into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints can receive the Gift of the Holy Ghost, which illuminates our lives even more as to what direction we need to take to become more spiritually beautiful.

As I am emailing this, I feel like this is something we all need to remember, and it is something I am still striving to learn.  There is no stopping point on the path of progression.
We never have the excuse of "I go to church on Sunday, I fulfill my callings, I pay my tithing and I pay a fast offering. I am good enough. I am not perfect, but I am as good as I can get."

As I reflect, I remember that covenant with Heavenly Father I made in a sacred and holy temple whose parking lot was a place of refuge for me in my darkest times, even before I received those covenants. The Law of Consecration is something that I have come to understand on my mission so much more. It is not just about money. We have so many more things to consecrate than our money.
So as I reflect everynight when I pray, when my whole entire mission and life play out in my mind, I am constantly asking myself "Am I consecrated?.... Am I His?"

I know that He did that for me. I know that my Savior lives. And even if I am not perfect, I one day will be through Him. He is my hope. And it's not even about being perfect. It is about being like Him. I have felt the past few days that I CAN DO IT! I don't understand all the reasons for why things happen, but I do know this: I can always trust in My Heavenly Father. I know that He loves me. I know He is real. HE IS REAL. He is a real Being who we can have a relationship with. He wants that, so much more than we can comprehend. So do I understand all the pain that the people I have taught have to go through. No. Do I understand why so many of them that I love turn away under the weight of doubt in themselves. No. Do I know why sometimes, missionary work is so much harder than you think.
No. I don't know the answers. But one day I will.

This past week, I had the privilege of visiting a person that was and is very dear to my heart. I was able to address a concern that for me was once a big question. But I just went on with faith, JUST TRUSTING. And in the moment that that person brought up the concern, I found my answers. My mouth was filled, and the mouth of my new missionary companion was filled, and my understanding grew.

So are we perfect? Do we have to understand eveything? We hear the prophets speak to us... not even they understand the Atonement perfectly. But the point is WE CAN.

Jesus Christ will not ever leave us alone. This I know. He won't ever give up on us. I know this is true. When our light dims and we can't see our reflection very well, all we need is to turn to Him. He will come to our aid. In reality, He is already there, and He can see us... who we really are. He bled from every pore. He bore the burden of our sins. He underwent our physical pain. He felt the heavy burden of our emotional pain. He understands our spiritual pains and longings and even at the times where we have turned away from the light of the gospel, and we feel our hands slipping across the gritty, sandy rock ledge... He knows. He knows.

And after all that pain, all that suffering, He bore the beatings, and the crown, and the mockings and scorns of those who condemned Him. He went like a lamb to the slaughter. He allowed it.

Can you imagine the feelings of His heart?

He knew it all, even when He carried the cross... up the steps, through the streets, out to His death. As He hung there on the cross, He prayed for us, and for those who were there. He chose every bit of it. Heavenly Father couldn't force Him. Even Jesus Christ had to choose.

His body was lain in a tomb.

On the third day, He appeared to Mary.

He lives.

I know that my Redeemer lives. Jesus Christ. One day you will see Him. One day, I will see Him. How beautiful. What a moment of reflection.

 Moroni 7:48 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen.

All this, so He could reach out and catch us.

I have loved being on a mission. I know that it has helped me. I know that this is where I was meant to be. I know that Heavenly Father has a plan. All we have to do is start to work on our relationship with Him, no matter where we are in that, and then listen to the spirit. It always comes down to this:
Make and Keep Covenants.
Remember Him
Follow the Spirit
Have Hope
Love
Faith

Endure to the End in following His example.

I know that Thomas S Monson is a true prophet of God, along with Joseph Smith. I know it. I will never deny it. The Gospel is so simple. Follow Jesus Christ.

I am looking forward to miracles this week! :) I am so ready. The missionaries I am serving with are amazing, and I am just ready to work!

Miracle of last night:
We tracted and nothing. No one was interested. We went one street over instead of giving up and going contacting downtown and we ran into a member and her non-member husband on a walk, and they had us come in and share an Easter message. Never postpone a prompting. :)
That tender mercy from Heavenly Father built my faith and I am ready to work. I know He will provide. :)

Pray for me! Pray for Davis!

His,
Sister Darby Miller

3/30/15

Dear Loved Ones,

So this week has flown by!
So we have been working hard! Just trying to settle in and get everything up and running. So we have been doing a lot of service. Please pray that we will find some new investigators! :) We currently have two... I finally met one of them last night. Both of them have been going through some health struggles and they need prayers. I am excited to work with them! It always comes back to reading the Book of Mormon and praying to know if it is true, with faith in Christ and real intent.

I'm just going to share something that I have been learning:

We dont' have to be perfect. We just have to rely on Jesus Christ and do our best. He is there. I know that He loves me. I have felt Him close.
Satan will do everything he can to make us feel like our weaknesses and imperfections keep us from having a relationship with our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, but that is not true.

I have found that on my mission, the times that I come to know the Savior Jesus Christ better are the times where I am so exhausted by my own sins, shortcomings and imperfections that I find myself desperate, on my knees. Those prayers where my soul cries out are the prayers where I feel my Heavenly Father's love come washing over me in light. There is a line in Preach My Gospel, which is basically modern scripture, which says something along the lines of "[Our Heavenly Father] weeps with us when we suffer, and rejoices when we do what is right."  I know that that is true.

 “And if men come unto me I will show them their weaknesses. I give men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.” [Ether 12:27]

I learned a lot from Nephi this week about how to rely on the Savior, and how REMEMBERING is a huge part of that:
https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/4?lang=eng

http://www.mormon.org/easter

3/23/15 iPads and Personalities

So, so dear family and friends,

Things are so different. Good, but different. It's weird going back to the same stake as Woodland. Seriously. Woodland is a 15 min drive away. Sister Comer and I drove up there he other day to speak at an 8 year old's baptism and it was the weirdest feeling in the world. It seriously felt like coming home. It has been very interesting. Even Sister Comer made the comment that she could see me living here. It just feels like home. Arcata and Woodland both. I am still adjusting to Davis. It is a college town and there are a lot of Asians here, and it is WAY different than Arcata, which was full of very colorful and varied people, but a The people here are a lot higher class and very smart, but dress like a bunch of college kids.

So Sister Comer is a greenie. I am follow up training her... Which means that she has only been out for a month and a half. She is 22 and she speaks her mind. It's been fun already. She is very different than me, but I guess it's going to be a good thing.  I think it is so interesting two missionaries that are so completely different and that they could come to an agreement and do missionary work. It has just build my testimony that my personality is important, and same with her personality.

I'm sure next week I will have more to write about. Currently we are trying to find some more investigators, and to meet with the ones we have. So, next week, I am sure I will have more to talk about.

In the mean time, I want to tell you a story about the Noriega family from Arcata. I don't know if I ever shared it in full.

So we met the Noriegas on Christmas Eve. We had only been there less than a week, and Sister Whimpey and I didn't know anyone. We had only picked up a couple investigators, and so we went with the YSA elders to go caroling to our investigators who lived on the third floor. On the way up, we saw some people on the second floor, so we decided, why not? Let's go carol to them! We did, and we met the father, who was not completely himself. While we were singing, he brought his 11 year old son out to talk to us because apparently he was interested in a lot of different religions. His father told us that he wasn't interested, but that he really really wanted us to come and teach his son. We didn't really take him seriously, just because of his circumstance, but we had a good little chat, sang another sing or something, and then went on our way. Well, about a week or so later, our investigators cancelled, and we stopped by and taught them. They let us right in, and ever since then they started listening to the lessons, fully participating. Then, they started reading the Book of Mormon. They started praying. They started to really understand what we were sharing. They came to church, accepted s baptismal invite, and then really meant it and were excited to be baptized. They are scheduled to be baptized this Saturday, hopefully. I might be able to skype in, but I don't know.

My whole mission, I had never taught people like the Noriegas. I know they are the elect, there are people out there like them. I know it. It's all just an exercise in faith.

I know the gospel is true, I know the Church is true. There are so many blessings that come from living the gospel. Heavenly Father doesn't expect us to be perfect all at once. He knows us, and loves us, and BELIEVES IN US. He trusts us. That is why He sent us here.

I know that the spirit is so essential. That is how you can know what you should do, by reading the Book of Mormon and the other scriptures, by pondering, and by praying to know what you should do. The answer comes by the power of the Spirit. If you are wondering how to help someone, or to help yourself, this is the spiritual method for finding out what Heavenly Father wants us to know.

So yeah.

Know that I love all of you and believe in all of you. Thank you for all of your support. It means the world to me.

Something I said a few days ago to an atheist: "I don't think science and religion are opposed to each other, but rather I see that God is the Greatest Scientist." I then pulled out the Lord's iPad that I carry. "Hand this to someone 3,000 years ago and what would they think? How would they describe it? They wouldn't have the words to. That is how it is with us and understanding God and all creation."

Sincerely,
Sister Miller

P.S. Watch "Because He Lives" this Saturday, then share it!

3/16/15 We Too, Like Redwoods

I am getting tranferred to Davis... which is 10-15 mins away from Woodland. :)

I'm am so sad to be leaving Arcata, but I felt peaceful the day I knew we were getting the tranfer doctrine sent out to us. I seriously thought I was staying. I have laughed, cried, and everything else. Sister Whimpey is staying and will be training (pretty cool... that was our goal... to get this area to AWESOME!) and yeah. I will be follow up training and STL in Davis. Pretty cool.

I am so sad to leave Arcata, though. Here I have learned so much about who I am, the nature of God, about the purpose of missionary work.

We have two really solid progressing families that are amazing. The Noriegas... who are getting baptized in two weeks. Seriously, so cool. A father and a son that we found caroling on Christmas. They were the last people we thought were going to let us come back. They are unlike anyone else I have ever taught because they are so willing to read their scriptures everyday and pray and come to church, and they are humble. We have really grown to love them, and they have progressed so fast. They basically teach themselves in lessons. I love them. :) I'm just happy they are getting baptized. They really really understand what it means, and they want it so bad. It's really cool.

The other family is the Youravish family. We met with them last night for my last time. My heart just broke. I teared up a little at the beginning and we taught them about the Atonement. One of the family members is going through something really hard, and so it really meant a lot. They too are so cool. Every member of the family comes in, sits down, participates, asks questions, and all of them are so willing to follow the spirit. They are amazing. So committed. We invited them to pray about a date to be baptized last night, and they said they will. So cool.

Also, we are going to be saying goodbye to the Sonatos tonight. That will be the hardest I think. I love them so much. We have gone over there every few days and they are like family.

Here, I have learned that I, like a redwood tree, must start out small. There must be rain. There must be fog. There must be other redwood trees greater than I am all around me, so that I too can build off of their strength. There must be all these things so that I may grow.

I have absolutely loved serving here in Arcata with Sister Whimpey for these past transfers. I can honestly say that these have been the best two transfers of my whole mission. I feel like I finally get it now, and that it is all falling into place. I feel like everything that I have learned is coming into one great whole. I think the key to being a great missionary is two things... and then everything else will fall into place. 1) Having a Christlike love for EVERYONE! and 2) Being completely focused on the missionary purpose. I feel like this transfer has been a fusion of these two aspects of missionary work, over and over. I have found myself more patient with people as I have been more genuine with them and have learned to love them, and also, I have found that I listen better, and I have a stronger desire to help them and address what they really need. As we have done this together, ways have been opened up for Sister Whimpey and I to teach amazing lessons to amazing people. Truly, the families that we are teaching are miracles. They are unlike anyone else we have ever taught. They just get it. They read and pray, and they are progressing towards baptism. They live what they learn to understand.

I will forever be grateful to have been put with Sister Whimpey. She is an amazing missionary. I feel like she is my older sister. I have learned to truly be unified, and because of how we have learned to work together, I have a better understanding of companionships. I feel like I have learned the "why" to all of it.

I really don't want to leave, but I have learned to trust the will of the Lord and I felt calm all Friday before the transfer call. That was also confirmation. I have truly loved it up here, and I feel like I have connected to the people like never before. I am excited to take what I have learned up here in Arcata and apply it to Davis. I am excited to meet my new companion and love her!

It's amazing to think that when I first arrived here, we had no one. No investigators. We were both new. We've done great things, but in all reality, it is the Lord that has done these greats things in us.

We too, like redwoods, must start out small, with the rain and with the fog, so that we may become like the Greatest of them all....

Sincerely,
Sister Miller

3/9/15 Prayers Yelled Out Loud

Every time I go to email, my mind goes blank.

Go ahead. Laugh. It's okay. I'm laughing too.

I've realized that life is a lot harder without humor. Now. Don't be worried. My email last week was not meant to be sad. You'd have to be a missionary to understand. It's sad and happy at the same time. :) Promise.

Okay. So I see the need to include some humor. So, I will begin with a funny story.

Sister Whimpey and I went to see a home bound less-active member. She could not hear anything. We literally had to yell everything. And she had a dog. A cute one. A hairy one. (I realized that wearing black is not the best thing around dogs.) So we sit down to share a message with her, and we started with a prayer. She said it. We then attempted to share a message with her about Jesus Christ, but she kept yelling "WHAT?" at us. Sister Whimpey wasn't helping because she was trying so hard not to laugh because we make fun of me all day about asking what a lot. So then I start trying not to die laughing. Not a good situation when the sister can't hear, and both of us can't talk because we are trying to hold in our laughter. It's a good thing we love her and she is a good sport, because then we gave up and decided to show her because of him. Well, right before we show it to her, she tells us that she hates movies that show Jesus Christ being beaten because it gives her nightmares. So then I panicked, because "Because of Him" has a little bit of that in it. Then we attempt to share a scripture. That went well. While this is all happening, her little dog is laying across my lap, and wouldn't let me stop rubbing it's belly or it would lick my face. Still, Sister Whimpey is trying not to die laughing. She did a good job of holding it all in, I will give her that.
Finally we come to the closing prayer. The sister asks one of us to pray, and so I do. Well, I stop scratching the dog's tummy to fold my arms, and the dog goes balistic, licking my face and jumping all over me, with me trying to hold the dog down while folding my arms. The member starts to yell at the dog, trying to call it over, and Sister Whimpey is trying to control her laughing, and I am trying to quiet the dog, half laughing, half frustrated. Finally, I get so fed up that I grab the dog, set it next to me, and while holding it down, I yell "SIT down and FOLD YOUR ARMS! NOW!" At this point, Sister Whimpey loses it, but the member is already folding her arms, eyes closed. I then attempt to pray, and the member looks up and tells me to pray louder. I try, and then she asks me again. At this point, Sister Whimpey is clenching her sides, shaking is silent fits of laughter and I am yelling, literally yelling a pray. "DEAR HEAVENLY FATHER...."
Good thing the member was deaf and couldn't hear Sister Whimpey dying, but one thing is for sure: Heavenly Father heard that prayer.

:) Things like that happen everyday. If only I had the time to write them all down.

On a more spiritual note, we had really spiritual lessons this week with the families that we are teaching.

Arcata truly is an amazing place to be. It is not only beautiful, but the people here are really humble for the most part. Sister Whimpey and I again met with Anthony and Steven, a father and son, and we taught them the plan of salvation this week. I've never seen investigators just grasp it as well as they do. The past couple weeks we have shared the Restoration and the Word of Wisdom with them.This week, we started off with a doorstep lesson on Monday, and we taught the creation, and somehow the spirit worked it's way in to a baptismal invite, and they accepted for April 4th. At the time, Sister Whimpey and I didn't realize that that is general conference weekend, but we informed them and they are praying about if they should have it the week before or the week after that weekend. Steven is 12 and is so excited about it all. He even ran from playing with His friends the other night, all the way up the apartment staircase, and burst in the door, excited to meet with us. Steven always has really deep questions that bring the spirit, and oftentimes he explains the answers to his father without even having heard it for himself first. Really cool. Anthony too loves it. He is a single dad, who is working hard. We asked him last time we met what this plan of salvation means to him, and he said second chances. They both love what we are sharing with them.  I am just amazed at how much they have progressed from when we first met them outside their front door. They truly have a desire to live the gospel, and they have so many good questions and things.

The lessons we shared with them were really cool because we talked about our purpose here on earth. It's been good for me. I've learned so much about the Plan of Savaltion, and how when people understand it, they have more hope. A reacurring theme that I testify of to them lately is that we don't have to be perfect, we just have to do our best in following Jesus Christ. I think that is one of the biggest things I have learned on my mission. Heavenly Father definitely lets me feel my weaknesses, but that is all what the gospel is about: being forgiven and strengthened despite your weaknesses. Did you know that in PREACH MY GOSPEL, it says that a qualification for the Exaltation in the Celestial Kingdom is that we are freed from sin and suffering through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Ether 12:27  has become one of my favorite scriptures, because I know it is so true. I am so far from perfect, but I have hope because of Jesus Christ. When we come unto Him, He will show us our weaknesses and then teach us to turn them into strengths by using His Atonement.

We are teaching another family, the Youravish family, that is pretty much the same way. We also taught them the Plan of Salvation as well this week. The mom told us recently that she keeps coming back to this, again and again. It was really cool. At the end of the last lesson, they had lots of really good questions, and they were excited about the answers. They really understood. The 10 year old boy asked about how if we are all brothers and sisters, even with Jesus Christ, then who is Satan? It was really cool because the spirit had been strong throughout the whole lesson, and when he sincerely asked that question, I paused, trying to think of how to phrase an answer. Before I could reply, the 14 year old daughter looked at her brother, and explained to him that before, when we lived with Heavenly Father, we all were able to choose, even Satan, but the difference is that he chose to rebel. The Spirit was really strong as she said that. I've never had anyone teach themselves the Plan of Salvation before. They all really loved the idea that we chose to follow Jesus Christ, and that is what we are trying to choose on earth too. This family too is really amazing.

Thank you for all the love and outreach. We find out who stays and who goes this week. I really really REALLY want to stay, but I don't know if I will or not. Pray for me to have strength, but more for the Noriega family that they will continue and have strength against temptation and continue to read and pray, and also for the Youravish Family that we can meet with them more, and that they will continue to read and pray.

Also, sometimes, you just need to yell your prayers out loud. I do that a lot, both temporally and spiritually. :) You are all in my prayers. :) Love you!

“We have to have faith. We have to have faith in God. We have to have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. And oh, how desperately we have to have faith in ourselves!"
~Elder Ballard

"Don't look back... you're not going that way!" ~Unknown

I know the Church is true! Love you all! You must read and ponder the Book of Mormon WITH A SINCERE HEART AND REAL INTENT to know that it is true. :)

Love,
Sister Miller

3/2/15

Hello Family and Friends!

So first off, I would like to start with an apology. I have not been as good at emailing as I would have liked. To tell you the honest truth, I really struggle to get my feelings into words sometimes. I get really nervous every time I go to write. So today, I am going to just sit and write, and what comes out, comes out.

First thing that I would like to say is that I have never been happier. A mission is hard. I struggle a lot, but not in the way that I used to. I have a hard time explaining how I am feeling, again, but the feeling is like happy crying. Once upon a time, we were watching a movie in a zone meeting about how it must have felt like for Heavenly Father to willingly sacrifice His only Begotten Son, and I just felt so weak. I cried through the whole thing, but it wasn't just touching tears, but a deep aching within me that lasted hours, and still throbbed a little later into the rest of the week. Even now, looking back on that experience, my heart is plucked a little bit, like a key note on a piano. But although it weakened me, it also filled me with a renewed strength that I know did not come from myself. That's what it feels like. Not just merely emotion, but rather, a physical, emotional, and spiritual motion deep inside. So there's my attempt to explain this pained happiness. It is a joy beyond belief, like when an investigator finally understands that the strength that they receive that fills them and helps them as they are pouring the alcohol down the drain is connected and will forever be connected to those precious moments in the Garden, where the Savior poured His own blood out. Somehow, words will not do. Do you understand the feeling? It is full of sorrow, but a sorrow that makes your heart soar higher than birds or even clouds. It is a feeling that goes deep, like the feeling you get when you look down from a great height, and see the majesty and beauty beneath. It's deeper than that. This feeling of happiness is so hard for me to explain. It's the feeling you get when your heart is pounding, and you really have a hard time believing that the moment you are in is really happening, yet, you know that it is happening, and that it is real. It is scary, and exciting, and waaaay  out of your comfort zone, but it is exhilarating, and somehow in it, in that single moment, you find comfort. Yet, there is a sadness, because you know that it is only a single moment, and that it is precious. It only happens once, and you will never again be in that moment again.

Do you understand? My joy is full, and I am happier than I have ever been, but I can also say that this has been the hardest thing I have ever done. Not even physically. I mean mentally, and emotionally, and spiritually. Every day is the hardest, but not in the way you think. When I first came out on my mission, I expected certain things to be my struggles, like the schedule, or like talking to people, or like knowing and teaching the gospel, or missing your family. In reality, those things are hard, but Heavenly Father takes care of those things. He holds all those things in His control, and comforts you. It's not even a struggle to find people to teach. I would have thought that that would be the hardest. Whenever I try to do it on my own, it is, but whenever I rely on Him, it is easy. People just come out of the woodwork. I truly do believe in miracles. I do not believe in coincidences. Not one bit. I have seen it time and time again, because every person I have ever taught on my mission has been a miracles that has unfolded in front of me. God does His work. He doesn't need me. I am the one who needs Him, my Heavenly Father. He lets me help because He loves me.

So what is the biggest struggle of my mission?

I have learned that the biggest struggle is fear.

Worrying about what others think.
Fearing failure.
Fearing the future.
Fearing about what will happen to my investigators... worrying that they will reject the gospel.
Fearing about my family and friends.

A while ago, a member of the quorum of the Seventy looked me straight in the eyes and told me "I challenge you to never fear again." He wasn't rebuking me. I had only made a comment about how faith and fear cannot exist in the same place. His words have come to me every single day since.

Quickly, A recap of the past couple of weeks.....

So a couple of weeks ago, I was sick. Not fun. Stayed in for the first time because I had a raging fever. It started on a Monday. I just worked through it. Then the next day, I felt like my head was going to explode. I was scared that I wasn't going to be able to go to the temple the next day. I called the mission nurse and asked her how I could fix it. She told me that if it was 100.3 or lower, I could go, because I wouldn't be as contagious, but to be careful, because I would be more susceptible to get sick. Miracles. I woke up the morning of the temple trip at 4 in the morning. 102 degrees. Snap. I prayed, got up, got ready, and by the time we were ready to leave, it had shot back down to 99 degrees. I didn't catch anything, and slowly over the past week, it has subsided to just a random cough and now it is completely gone. I know that that was a blessing from Heavenly Father. We went to the Medford Oregon temple. So cool. I have now been to all the temples that the missionaries in the California Santa Rosa Mission go to. YAY! :)

Also, we went to a funeral for a member in our ward. Our ward boundaries are huge. The elders that serve in our ward go out to Hoopa, an Indian Reservation. They aren't allowed to contact, and so they do most of their work with a member named Brother Joseph, who takes them to see random people that he knows. Well, sadly, Brother Joseph died a few weeks ago. Bishop Floyd insisted on having us come to the funeral, because of the missionary opportunities, so President Alba gave us permission to go. The drive there was beautiful, and the spirit was really strong. The funeral went longer than we thought it would, and so we left early before we really got to talk to people because the traditions were going on and on... which was cool to see, but we needed to get back, but that's what the pictures of me on the hillside are of... the drive was incredible. Shoutout to Magnus and Harv.... they filmed parts of Star Wars up here. The trees are incredible. Everyday is beautiful. It is like fairyland up here.

Another cool story....
So our entire mission is striving to teach 3 lessons everyday, on top of contacting at least 20 souls, and also inviting one person to be baptized every day. We have been scrambling to find those three lessons. Some days it is easy. Other days, it is really really hard. So if it comes down to 8:00 at night and all of our lessons have fallen down, we call members to let us come and teach them and practice on them. So we called the Richards, and elderly couple. The wife joined the church back in the 80's. The husband joined three years or so ago. They are so cute, and so active. We love them. We called them, and they told us to come over. When we got there, we taught them, and the spirit was really strong. Then they shared with us how a family member of theirs is struggling, and they really needed to meet with us. Miracles. Heavenly Father always has a plan. We would not have been able to reach out to the Richards if we hadn't had had all of our lessons fall through, and if we weren't trying to teach three lessons every day. Miracles.

Last Sunday Feb 22nd, the Noriegas came to sacrament meeting. That was really cool. More on them later. :)

This week.
Monday: craziness. Pday. That's all I'll say.
Tuesday: Exchanges with Sister Harmer. So because Sister Whimpey and I are both STL's, we go on double exchanges, which is where we both leave our area and we both go into the other companionship's area, and they plan for double the lessons and things.

While with Sister Harmer, we had an experience I've never really had on my mission yet.

We went to see this random member that she hadn't yet met, and assumed was less-active. We knock on the front door, and she lets us right in. She seemed rather bubbly and excited to have us, almost like she expected us, even though we were trying her with no notice. She brings us into her living room, talking to us a little bit about how they were just sitting down to dinner. She sat down at the table, in front of a computer, he husband there as well, in front of his computer, both of them eating dinner. I began to feel uncomfortable, and I didn't know why. Looking back, it was because she never actually invited us to sit down, even though we were standing there, glancing over at the couch every now and again. So I do what I normally do when I feel awkward... talk about the gospel. :) Naturally. I asked her about if she has been a member of the church her whole life or not, and then she told us of when her brother "convinced" her to join, and it was the worst decision of her life, and how her husband and her were fully active in their own church. She began to tell us of how she doesn't believe that she is less than her husband in any way, and she doesn't think that we can "own our own star" when we die. By this time, I felt this sick feeling come over me, and my heart sunk, yet, I felt a strength surge in. Looking back, I realized that every question and every struggle I have ever had trying to find the answers to my questions had prepared my soul for this moment. I listened with patience, even though her voice was going from loud to just plain yelling. She told me of how any book that said those things is true, and that only the Bible is true, and she just kept going on about the Book of Mormon. Gladly, the spirit takes away from my mind the specifics, but I remember how it made me feel.

I knew that what she was saying wasn't true, because of the feeling that came into the room. That feeling was not from God. I felt the Spirit reject what she was saying by leaving. I knew we needed to leave as well, and so I looked over at Sister Harmer, who was silent, but I also felt her shock, and also her determined and strong spirit next to mine.
Quietly, I interrupted her. My voice was calm and even, even though I felt a little physically shaken by what she had said. I bore my testimony, pure and simple. I know that the Book of Mormon is true, and that it is of God, and that it's sole purpose is to testify of the truth of Jesus Christ.
She started yelling over top of me... I said it again, quietly, yet firmly, and started walking towards the door. She followed, quite furious, but then I walked out the door, I turned back.
"I'm sorry for upsetting you, but I am not sorry. I know the Book of Mormon is true, and if you ever decide you want missionaries to come by, you can just go to mormon.org and request them to come by."
She was still yelling and I closed the door behind myself.  We walked down the steps, and I exhaled deeply, trying to get fresh air in. I patted Sister Harmer on the back, we both bore our testimonies simply to each other, and we said a prayer on the sidewalk and kept walking.

Later that night, we found out that the less-active had called the other sister's phone, thinking it was us. She apologized and invited them back, on condition that they won't try to push the Book of Mormon on them.

I will never forget that It didn't turn out the way I thought it would in the moment. She kept yelling, but I bore my testimony, and I knew that what I said was true.

And I love missionary work.

I have so much more to write, but I am out of time.

We have two progressing families! We have shared the restoration with both of them and both of the families said that they feel like this is the path that they need to take. If you would like to pray for them they are the Youravish (like a radish) and the Noriega Family.

Love,
Sister Miller